A Short Thought On Personal Knowability.
The first thing I should say is that I don't know the first thing about writing.
Well that isn't entirely true as I have written a lot of things. Essays, research articles, poetry, song lyrics, short stories, monologues, and ethnographies comprise my writing. So I suppose what I really should be articulating is that I am not a master at writing, nor at anything. Just someone who tries from time to time to put something out there. I very likely will never be a master at anything. Not becasue I am lazy and do not think I have it in me to be something or to work hard at anything. But because I like to challenge the notion of mastery, or the idea that anyone can truly ever really know anything; it is a false notion. Knowability is intangible as far as I can make out in my struggles in the social. I have worked and communicated with several individuals who claim mastery and knowledge in so many different types of disciplines in recent years. Academics and thinkers of several kinds have come and gone (mostly gone) into my life, and even though I recognize the work they do and the fulfillment attached to the processes in their own everyday creative endeavours, I really don't see knowability represented in any of it. Science is not positive, in the methodological and empirical sence, so thus at this point I will have to identify as a non-positivist. I feel art too is unknowable, yet potentially is much more congruent with the feelings and positionalities one may attached to false-epistemological and ontological pressures. I am yet to meet an artist who claims mastery. It always seems to be others who take that action of claiming whether the artist is a master in work and creativity, and at times perhaps, one should examine and consider who or what is being served by such forms of relationalism.
Art, like emotions are strangely intangible to me, yet are also simultaneously very strongly experienced. How can I justify saying that something is intangible to me and yet strongly experienced? I don't know at this point. Perhaps that too is a false concept, but I can only say that it feels this way for me. Yeah I know, perhaps that is lame, but right now it's all I got.
Today emotions are fluid, moving, dark, deep, and relentless. I know they are present because they drive my actions today. Even this bit of writing is influenced and constructed from this. I certainly was not in the mood to write anything today. Possibly just because of being somewhat tired from the Thanksgiving weekend we just had, and the little traveling that was endured throughout. But I had to move and be active. I felt a strong feeling of immobility, disconnection, and the forms of uncertainty that can at times be attached to this type of emotional paralysis. Depression is powerful on several levels.
I must keep up my blog writing though. It helps. Presently it seems my only creative outlet. All others seem either lost or neglegible at this point in my life, and there really has to be a way of keeping pace as I struggle and reinvent myself.
Well that isn't entirely true as I have written a lot of things. Essays, research articles, poetry, song lyrics, short stories, monologues, and ethnographies comprise my writing. So I suppose what I really should be articulating is that I am not a master at writing, nor at anything. Just someone who tries from time to time to put something out there. I very likely will never be a master at anything. Not becasue I am lazy and do not think I have it in me to be something or to work hard at anything. But because I like to challenge the notion of mastery, or the idea that anyone can truly ever really know anything; it is a false notion. Knowability is intangible as far as I can make out in my struggles in the social. I have worked and communicated with several individuals who claim mastery and knowledge in so many different types of disciplines in recent years. Academics and thinkers of several kinds have come and gone (mostly gone) into my life, and even though I recognize the work they do and the fulfillment attached to the processes in their own everyday creative endeavours, I really don't see knowability represented in any of it. Science is not positive, in the methodological and empirical sence, so thus at this point I will have to identify as a non-positivist. I feel art too is unknowable, yet potentially is much more congruent with the feelings and positionalities one may attached to false-epistemological and ontological pressures. I am yet to meet an artist who claims mastery. It always seems to be others who take that action of claiming whether the artist is a master in work and creativity, and at times perhaps, one should examine and consider who or what is being served by such forms of relationalism.
Art, like emotions are strangely intangible to me, yet are also simultaneously very strongly experienced. How can I justify saying that something is intangible to me and yet strongly experienced? I don't know at this point. Perhaps that too is a false concept, but I can only say that it feels this way for me. Yeah I know, perhaps that is lame, but right now it's all I got.
Today emotions are fluid, moving, dark, deep, and relentless. I know they are present because they drive my actions today. Even this bit of writing is influenced and constructed from this. I certainly was not in the mood to write anything today. Possibly just because of being somewhat tired from the Thanksgiving weekend we just had, and the little traveling that was endured throughout. But I had to move and be active. I felt a strong feeling of immobility, disconnection, and the forms of uncertainty that can at times be attached to this type of emotional paralysis. Depression is powerful on several levels.
I must keep up my blog writing though. It helps. Presently it seems my only creative outlet. All others seem either lost or neglegible at this point in my life, and there really has to be a way of keeping pace as I struggle and reinvent myself.
posted by energetika at 4:10 PM
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